"I'm A Man of Principle"
I have a set of principals. They change as I learn more and adapt and grow. When the seek “light “is on in my heart - there’s always room and time to adjust - my choice. That helps me to grow - leaving room for another chair or two at the table type of mentality.
For me - principals were hard to find and choose. I’m picky and hard headed as well. I may be the only one.
I cultivate principals. I try to teach this with my family and friends as well as others in my path. It benefits many.
As far as character of attitude and every day acts - I’m a fire cracker some days. Yea - I got a hair trigger on my feelings some times - here lately - I’ve had “opportunity's”’to shown principals and character in time of confrontation. You could say - arguments are for moments when they are needed and chosen for - the ol “for such a time as this” type of mentality. It takes practice. Vader choked people out often and Kylo let it loose. Those moments for me - I’ve sat my monkey down and taught him to act right. I failed in the beggining- hard - ask my wife - no broom is safe when daddy is upset- but now - every person isn’t scared of what I call my “whinging
Wally.” The difference now is when the upset comes - Wally doesn’t disappear but takes a seat. ( I call my “monkey” Wally or Murry - just me)
Cultivation- that’s the key for me. There is a hidden secret in it. Thanks Pro for this. I look forward to what this can bring here. As always - my inbox is open.
And then we are more easily inclinable to duality perception, you know "My principles and values are ...." < they are good and right to me,
each deviation of other people to our values leads to sorting on good/bad.
For instance when somebody grew up in polite family, then the person will meet a very vulgar people, this automatically leads to clasification as
bad people. Thought those vulgar people can be very empathetic and sensitive friends, but you can´t see beyond your perception.
- Phoenix die and transform into something new -
Proteus wrote: Do you consider yourself one of these types?
It feels a bit self-inflated to talk that way but the truth of it is that in certain matters, i am. I spent the first half of my life making bad decisions that caused myself and others a lot of pain. Some of my principles come from recognizing the unfairness and the foolishness of that. They were learned the hard way, so to speak, and are quite important to me.
What does it mean to be a "man of principle" (or woman, etc, of course)?
It means that you have a sincere regard and concern for how your own, personal behavior impacts the world around you.
Is it all its cracked up to be?
If a situation goes south in which bothers you, but needs (and has) a solution, to move past, are you the type to focus on the principle of the matter, or do you put more focus on solving it?
Its funny, we can all use the exact same words while saying completely different things.
How about a guy is flat broke, behind on rent and about to be evicted if he doesnt come up with some money. He's at the bus stop one day and theres a lady sitting on the bench next to him who keeps falling asleep. Shes wearing nice cloths and tasteful jewelry, and her purse is slightly ajar. He can see her little pocket-book inside of the purse. He knows theres money in there because he noticed her take it out and grab cash to pay for the bus pass. He doesnt know her backstory, but he can tell she has money because of how shes dressed. It so happens that her car was recently totaled because some hot-rodder side-swiped her at almost 65mph. Someone at the insurance agency failed to dot some “i” or cross some “t” and theres a delay on getting her rental car. Which is probably a good thing, because the pain meds her doctor gave her are opioids and she keeps nodding off- def dont want to be driving when that happens. This is her first time ever even taking a bus.
He knows its very possible that with what she’s got in the purse, he can go to bis landlord and at least buy himself a little more time to figure out something else. He’s not afraid to do it. Hes a bold guy and he knows he can get away with it. Its right there; its his to take.
Well, does he focus on the solution to his problem or does he focus on the principle of what he is thinking about doing?
More importantly to me, how does one talk someone down who considers themselves a "man of principle" to keep a situation reasonable when they are angry?
People often say that integrity means doing the right thing even when no one is looking. Thats one kind of integrity but integrity also means doing the right thing when EVERYONE is looking and they all expect you to fit in with the status quo. A person who is standing up for their principles will be willing to take an unpopular position because they believe it is the right thing to do. Perhaps to the extent that it costs them their careers. Perhaps even to the extent that it costs them their lives. A truly principled person takes their position knowing that they may very well lose, big time. They dont fight to win a battle of dominance or a war of egos. Theyd rather not fight at all. They've found themselves in a situation where there is either external pressure or internal desire to do something that they know is wrong, and they chose to do the thing they believed to be right no matter what it cost them.
Theres nothing you can say to talk these people out of their decisions. In fact, this is a person who you should probably be supportive of.
The inverse of this is that people often use noble concepts to justify their lousy behavior. Even to the point of being outright murderous. Prime examples are the many communist revolutions of the past or the nazi party or today’s ISIL. All of these groups/movements claim/ed to be acting on noble principles and values but the bodies of their many victims belie their virtuous claims. Talking these people out of their actions depends on your (or rather, society’s) ability to counter their propaganda and to impose physical consequences upon them. Movements that embrace violence have to be intellectually exposed with rational argumentation, this is a sort of social vaccine against them, and those who refuse to acknowledge the rational basis for peaceful activism have to be forcefully overcome before their numbers grow large enough to dominate their host nation/states.
Finally, people sometimes claim they are standing up for a principle when they are really just defending their own self image. Perhaps they feel slighted and really just want to see that they are acknowledged and respected. Or perhaps they feel a sense of contemptuousness towards others and need to “win”. In the first case, you only have to let them see that you accept them on the terms of mutual respect and mutual courtesy. You will respect them and they will respect you and life will be good. In the second case, you have to either be able to fight back effectively enough that that its not worth their trouble to bother you or you have to learn how to disengage and not fall into their drama, to begin with.
Im sure there are others that im not thinking of but im also sure this post is too long, already lol
People are complicated.
Which is in fact result of attachment to certain principles and why is that?
Because the set of principles we believe in gives us a firm ground, and if somebody represent
something which is in contradiction with her/his believe system it cause intolerance and hatred,
because the person is worrying about safetiness which is now endengering for him/her.
Firm ground gives us security and certainty that things will be safe also in the future,
but it´s just illusion, nobody can do anything what would secure permanent safetiness,
because Universe is dynamic and then no changes are still.
Intolerance is in fact great pointer which shows to what is one attached to.
And clearly shows system of values.
- Phoenix die and transform into something new -
Everyone has principles: they are the outward (explicity) expression of our values, our "scripts", that operate within us and provide the structure for how we measure value in the world.
The problem is that many of our principles are informed by external authorities, rather than a natural conclusion of examining our values. Additionally, many of us live our lives taking many of our principles for granted, rarely examining them, and because they are usually untested, the contradiction between principle and value never is revealed.
Until things go south.
Introspection is a useful tool for examining principles and values, both preemptively and during/after a crisis. That's why journaling and discussing morality and philosophy is so valued among Jedi forums: it lets you take a look at the monster within, so to speak, so that when circumstances call forward the monster, you have it well trained to do your bidding, and not succumb to circumstance.
“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” - Joe Klaas