I can't tell people I'm a Jedi. Can you help me?

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4 years 11 months ago #337727 by Gisteron
Sure, I can appreciate that. I guess the question is then is it really you the people in question are having the relationship with, if you have to suppress or hide seemingly important parts of yourself to maintain that relationship? And are they indeed so deeply defining your character, if you are able and willing to hide or suppress them in that effort? Again, this is not to question the fortitude of your faith - I for one see no virtue at all in that form of faithfulness - nor is it a case for damaging healthy or at any rate pleasant relationships as if one had joined a cult. I'm rather just trying to shine at the situation from another perspective. What is it that makes you you? How much of it would you insist on keeping and making a social display of? How much of it might you be willing sacrifice on an altar of conformity or comfort?
Your question is by no means a simple one, and answers to it likewise cannot be. What I'm inviting to do here is to reflect on these things oneself, trying to find one's own place and peace before considering how that reconciles with the world around. It will not be sufficient, and it is far from the only possible approach. If anything, one might call it an extreme focus on one side of the issue and there may thus well be a healthy balance between it and the opposite approach of roaming around the world's landscape to eventually home in on some point of equilibrium. I personally happen to find it easier to first get happy oneself before making others so. One might liken it to something like a negotiation. A healthy compromise with a charitable opposition is possible either way, but a lot of the time one is better off walking in with already a desired solution in mind and then working out how much way to give for the purposes of mutual satisfaction. By all means, there can be other, even more productive approaches than that, and what is best here may possibly be relative to the individual, too...

Better to leave questions unanswered than answers unquestioned
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4 years 11 months ago #337728 by JamesSand

Sure, I can appreciate that. I guess the question is then is it really you the people in question are having the relationship with, if you have to suppress or hide seemingly important parts of yourself to maintain that relationship?


Yes and No - is anyone really having any kind of relationship with the "Full" and "Real" of anyone?

How many people do you announce your financial affairs, or even favourite fish to? Are they getting the Real you?

If someone (who you feel has any right to, or you have any interest in entertaining) asks you "Do you follow/study Jediism?" - Then I suppose the frank and open answer is "Yes"

but it's an unlikely to thing to get asked, day to day, innit?

I don't know that there is much to be gained by "suppressing" or "hiding" your study or interest in the path, but there is just as likely little ground to be gotten from proclaiming it without purpose - unless you are sharing it with someone who would benefit from the telling - why bother at all?
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4 years 11 months ago #337734 by Gisteron
That's why I said "seemingly important part" and "hiding or suppressing". Very little about my character, for instance, revolves around what fish I enjoy. If someone asked, I would probably not even have an answer right away because it makes so little difference, even to my diet. And that is a big if anyway. I couldn't recall one person of whom I know that their fish preferences are an important enough aspect of their character for the conversation to have come up in the first place; I'm far from alone in finding it mostly unimportant. Matters of religion, on the other hand, tend to carry much more weight with many people, so the situation where one would suppress or hide something like that may occur much more commonly, and if one happens oneself to be one who cares about such things, then it would end up being hiding or suppressing something one finds an important aspect of oneself.
Long story short, I think two persons may not ever have a relationship with their respective "real" selves if by "real" one were to mean every ever so minute detail, but that would frankly render the phrase meaningless for that reason. I think it more intuitive and useful to speak of persons other and relationships between them in approximate terms. All else being equal, someone who is aware that I prefer herring over salmon knows less about me as a person than someone who understands that my choice of career ultimately routes back to a Jedi apprenticeship I once had.
I doubt Axid would have made his post if he didn't feel that his Jediism and how others think about it was important to him.

Better to leave questions unanswered than answers unquestioned
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4 years 11 months ago #337761 by ZealotX
First, you have to accept whatever it is you're afraid of. Are you afraid of losing respect? Are you afraid they'll laugh?

Imagine this like a swimming pool. You touch the water. It feels cold so your mind imagines what it would feel like if your whole body was as cold as that first touch.

So your first reaction might be fear of the water. Some times you literally have to "warm up" to an idea. You can either jump in or take your time.

If you jump in, yeah, you're likely going to be uncomfortable for a bit but the faster your whole body is in there the quicker it can adjust to the temperature. Someone else looking on may marvel at how quickly you got in and doubt that they could do the same. Not only did you overcome the 'idea' of the cold but you discovered how quickly your body could adapt.

So it is with many things. If you're ever going to do it then jumping in may be better than trying to inch your way in. They may have questions. They may even laugh. You can't control their reactions. And if they're going to laugh eventually you might as well get it out the way; prepare for it. Put a few come backs in the chamber, ready to go.

At the end of the day aren't their religious beliefs based on fictional material they can't prove? At least you know that it's inspired by fiction. People who believe in the bible are inspired by magic (called miracles), talking animals, walking on water, feeding 5000+ with 5 loaves and 2 fish, magic healing, demonic possession, etc. Demons stopped possessing people as soon as we discovered the science of mental illness. The point is that what they believe is much crazier than what you believe. It's only scary because there's so many of them and so few of you.

Which is more likely? That there is some kind of Force that exists (not that this is required belief because its not)? Or that a magical being exists who has always existed and who is the king of the universe and who people believe must exist to explain how they came into being but whose origins they cannot explain and therefore punt on. If we are so complex that a more powerful and wise God had to have created us then who created this God?

I'm not telling you to try to debate anyone but if they start laughing just ask them questions they can't answer about their own religion. And if their religion is allowed to be full of mysterious plot holes (like how the existence of magic is employed but never explained), then you don't need to explain yourself or try to make it make perfect sense to them. If they want to attack it because it's different then they will. People have a tendency to want to believe and often want to believe the same thing as the majority. But for every negative thing they can say think of a positive thing that you can say. And don't struggle to be accepted. They may take that as a weakness and not take you seriously. If you want people to take you seriously about something, ultimately you have to take that thing seriously. People will respect this much more than if it seems like you're scared to talk about it.

May the Force be with you.
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4 years 11 months ago #337765 by JamesSand

I'm not telling you to try to debate anyone but if they start laughing just ask them questions they can't answer about their own religion


That's true, forcing people into corners and alienating them works to persuade them of the validity of your points 100% of the the time.

B)
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4 years 10 months ago #337825 by

JamesSand wrote:

I'm not telling you to try to debate anyone but if they start laughing just ask them questions they can't answer about their own religion


That's true, forcing people into corners and alienating them works to persuade them of the validity of your points 100% of the the time.

B)



Debate is not alienating anyone or forcing them into a corner. That is an unfair characterization. However its prudent to not deflect the subject of the debate through personal attack. If they question your beliefs then you need not go after their personal beliefs but instead the nature of religion in general. Use your points to support your position, not to make it personal.

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4 years 10 months ago #337885 by Streen
I once told someone I was a Jedi, and it didn't go well.

Then I told someone else, and they thought it was cool.

Since then I've come to the conclusion that I don't NEED to tell anyone. Why should I? What purpose would that serve other than to boost my own ego?

Thus, I have no fear of it because I have no desire for it.

The truth is always greater than the words we use to describe it.
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4 years 10 months ago - 4 years 10 months ago #337887 by
This thing kind of resolved itself for me lol..

One, the fact of how little people actually go in depth about any philosophy in particular. Most people have general discussions on life and offer tidbits of their philosophy and experience..

Two, what's most useful of this path tends to come out more than the actual title itself.. Nobody really cares about Jedi. People care about overcoming obstacles, obtaining inner peace and resolution, or understand the world around them and their connection to it..

It's not being, or not being, Jedi that turned out to even matter. It's what I'm learning on this journey, seeking The Force, searching its nature. That matters most.. if it helps enough, some may ask how you learned it.. then they'll take "I'm a Jedi" a little more seriously..

The effects will communicate far more than the name ever will..
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