Divorced, I just hope she'll be ok

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01 Feb 2017 15:17 #274794 by Kyber
Since last week my marriage officially ended. The more intimate brothers and sisters know of my trajectory to save my union, but unfortunately also know that the situation was unsustainable. Love never ends, so I still hold hands, but I can no longer correspond as a partner, as a husband, perhaps as a friend or as a guardian. So my pain is not manifested now by the breaking of the union, for I spent the whole of 2016 trying to understand and accept what I should do. And here comes my request, which may seem intractable and may generate some anger in some people.
I feel very happy and living a whole new phase. In fact I've never been so happy in months. But my old lifemate is not accepting it so well. She does not eat and does not sleep. It has been painful for her and me as well; Though for an hour she thinks I'm a cold-hearted monster, I do not want her to be like this, but to be happy even though I have to go through this sadness of the end of a marriage that also plagues me.
I ask the brothers and sisters to put Juciany (my old companion) in their meditations and prayers so that she may be well and find peace and happiness in this new phase. No one's happiness can be put on the sadness of another person. Please send good energy, requests for help and all that you can. I am also open to anyone who wants to talk or give me advice, PMs are good for this so do not be shy. Thank you
The following user(s) said Thank You: Phortis Nespin, Cabur Senaar

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01 Feb 2017 15:47 #274801 by user15542
Nothing very useful to say my friend, just that my thoughts are with you and your ex, and an assurance that from very similar experience, time is generally very useful in healing the kinds of wounds you're both suffering from right now.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Kyber, User22414

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01 Feb 2017 16:02 #274805 by User22414
I will keep you both (and your children if any) in my meditations and prayers , be well and let the storm just go over your head , things are being said out of anger and sadness, dont give them weight that you have to carry around with you. Its up to her now how she deals with her loss , you have also loss to deal with.

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01 Feb 2017 17:27 - 01 Feb 2017 17:29 #274823 by Kobos
She is in my meditations. Some wounds take much time to heal and manifest in different ways. Your concern for her is telling of your care and heart within your character. Hold onto your scar for now even as you move so it may in time help her heal hers. I can only speak from my experience and heart I hope you both find peace with the present soon.

Fighting what you cannot see, will only lead you to lash out with violence towards everyone. Know your enemy, and you may find yourself a friend.

You can act real rude and totally removed
And I can act like an imbecile- Men without hats

Training Masters: Carlos.Martinez3 and JLSpinner
TB:Nakis
Last edit: 01 Feb 2017 17:29 by Kobos. Reason: I have the typing skills of a 3 year old

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03 Feb 2017 01:55 #274956 by User21993
Im sorry Bruno (kyber) not use to kyber ..Time All in good time will heal itself till then it will be a hard road you know if you need anything I am here u know...

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03 Feb 2017 14:36 #274991 by Manu
You already know what I think master, and you know I love you both and wish you the best. I know your decision was not easy and that it took you a long time to get to where you are now, and I'm sure it will take Juh a similar time to assimilate all that has happened.

I am proud that through all your fears, you have always found the courage to be forthcoming with her, and though it is painful now, it is much better in the long run for both of you to have lived an honest relationship.

Lots of love to you both.

Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Step aggressively toward your fear. - Jocko Willink

TM: Bruno Moreira (Kyber) | Public Journal
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03 Feb 2017 15:32 #274996 by Cabur Senaar
My best to the both of you, of course.

Grief, and the anger that can come with it, are necessary in healing and must be given time and space to occur and resolve. But it would be strange if some part of us did not want to rescue others from that grief. Still, we must allow each other those journeys within.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to her. And, sometimes, kindness will mean space or silence.

Make sure you get through this too.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Luthien

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03 Feb 2017 19:51 #275011 by Proteus
My thoughts are with you, that you both will remember this is part of a story that you are not only the characters in, but the author of as well... so, make it one that turns out to be a positive example for everyone you one day tell it to. :)

Be things as they are.
Do things as they do.
Know not one but all.
Know not all but one.
Breathe and feel life.
Smile and know joy.
Laugh and know play.
Nothing else matters.

It seems that I know that I know.
What I would like to see is the 'I' that knows me when I know that I know that I know.
- Alan Watts
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04 Feb 2017 01:37 #275037 by Brenna
Im sorry. As a few people have said, there is nothing we can really say. The ending of relationships is a death of sorts, not just of that time in our lives, but of who we were in it. Grieving is part of healing.

We are always here to listen ;)



Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet

Part of the seduction of most religions is the idea that if you just say the right things and believe really hard, your salvation will be at hand.

With Jediism. No one is coming to save you. You have to get off your ass and do it yourself - Me

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