The thread of self-forgiveness

I forgive myself for ignoring and cutting ties with people who don't care about me and don't want me in their lives.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1ysoohV_zA

I forgive myself for choices I made in both Iraq and Afghanistan and for what I saw and was part of. I forgive myself for the years of childhood abuse I endured and said nothing about. I forgive myself for the trespasses I have committed in order to progress forward in my life. I forgive myself for the grief I have held onto relative to my childhood home and all that occurred there and at that time. I forgive myself for not being a better son to may father and a better brother to my sisters. I give up the feelings of self doubt and shame that I have had since I was a child. I forgive myself for not being a better husband in both of my marriages, I worked to provide, but I did not make my home and my foundation safe. I embrace the here, the now, the present, and what is good in order to pave a road into my future. I am nothing more that simply myself.

I forgive myself for I am different, I forgive myself for trauma I experienced in childhood, which has influenced my whole life.
I forgive myself for fear I have experienced, which was extremely strong and still I am struggling with that. I forgive myself for time
I didn´t spend with my grandfather when I could, now I can´t.

I forgive myself for cutting my abusive mother off from my life. While it doesnt always feel like it I know that I do not owe anyone access to me, especially if they only make my life harder. I forgive myself for the multiple suicide attempts I've made trying to get away from the pain and the guilt. I forgive myself for not going to therapy sooner, I know that it's good that I at least did at all. I forgive myself for not always being okay. I know that mental health isnt something that is necessarily made easier over night.