Rants far and wide

I don't know if I can keep doing these 12+ hour work days...I'm tired.

#thecompanyyoukeep

So not only did my phone not charge (despite being plugged in all day) but it dropped ten percent from the cold, shut off for no reason, and then corrupted a practise sessions' filming. yayyyyyyyy.

I am done with online training. Why am I paying for schooling when I have to do so much of it in my free time and away from a teacher?

Whole thing broke twice, and its due tomorrow. So I'm probably screwed for my placement in April. Happy april fools on me apparently.



EDIT: Meeting with a course coordinator between classes to get this fixed. But still... so much stress. Time for meditation before my rage comes back.

I legitimately will never understand why people take a job, say they understand what the job entails, and then actively refuse to do it. Why even take it then? Egos too big for their own britches. Christ.

I'm going to rant ... right now ....
Why do you need to be told what to do? Why can't you think? Why can't some people see past their own little square ? Why can't I rant ? Why can't I be like you ? I know your not like me! I'm ok with that why can't you be.? Why can't people learn difrently ? Why can't they teach difrently ? Why can't they lead difrently ? What can't they follow difrently ? Why can't we change our avenues of presentation or usage ? Why can't we try somthimg new???? WE ARE NOT ROBOTS!!!! If I was ... ide be Robbie -Nestor 10- speedy - cutie - the Liar- the brain- the machine- Dave - ( it's a Asimov thing)
We can be diffrent ! We ARE diffrent !
Expect others to be diffrent ! Allow others to be diffrent ! ---- please!????

Ok that's my rant to no one in particular and not intended to hurt any one. I don't rant often so there's mine . Force be with us!

Every time i think it cannot get any worse , when are people going to learn to approach eachother here with compassion and respect , there is no honour in putting someone down in public , and remember , if you screw people like that , you are next , maybe not today , maybe not tomorrow , but one day ...., This is not the rat race , what you are doing is NOT JEDI / I have not even treated my enemies the way some treat eachother here ....

Written in plain english....

#done

Other than my IP journal....think I'm don't posting in the forums for awhile....too much stress...too much arguing about who's right....way to many people over explaining why there right and everyone else is wrong. SMH

Just because someone spends their time with the sick and afflicted does not mean they themselves are sick and afflicted.

rugadd wrote: Just because someone spends their time with the sick and afflicted does not mean they themselves are sick and afflicted.

I know were not supposed to comment on other threads but quoting this for the following rant as I had this today as well:

If I had a dollar for everytime in 911 I've had to pick someone up because they were with someone else who was sick and now they think they are getting sick....this server would be paid for a very long time...

If a pipe and pump that pushes the sewage out of my home fails, do not tell me that you will come by and fix it, if you didn't rig it up like a 4 year old it wouldn't fail. Hire a damn professional, or get out of the way pay for the supplies and let me fix it. I already lost most of my wardrobe; now because of this the fact that I stayed up all night fixing your crappy plumbing clearing a sewage pump and then rebuilding the inlet and outlet system after buying the supplies myself. I smell like poo and now that it is fixed you are gosh dang right you are hiring a cleaning crew to clean it. Do not, I repeat do not, try to raise the rent because I swear to I will literally take the piping and electrical work I did with me and go find a nicer house.....Sorry glad I got that out.....

There are so many words I would like to say, so much frustration I would like to get rid off, so many people I'd wish I never met.

A couple of months ago I dropped the Jedi title completely, and I haven't associated myself with it since.

This came as a result of several experiences, mostly with people with a high status within the general Jedi community.

A Jedi master defending physical child abuse, a Jedi knight arguing that homosexuals and transsexuals are mentally ill openly within their order, an entire order silencing a select few in order to avoid unwanted exposure and my favorite; Jedi using their adherence as moral levitation to the high ground and dabbling in subjective nonsense.

If you believe the Jedi community is just a good community with compassionate, respectful altruists that accept change rather than do their outmost to halt it, then you are gravely mistaken.

The Jedi community needs to step off its high horse that it has so firmly entrenched itself upon, take a good look at what it has become and how to fix it

-- This post was just a rant and in no way meant to target TOTJO but the general Jedi community. I will not reply to any replies to this post here --

Posting here cause I'm not interested in further derailing a thread to prove my point while feeding my ego...

I don't give a damn how many times you apologize, publicly or privately. You misrepresent the facts more than anyone else here, and I'm fed up to my eyeballs with how people can spit out a cheap apology and all is forgiven, and we're back to square one. Stop derailing threads and falsifying the facts with your personal bias & cherry picking while engaging in denialism. There is ABSOLUTELY NO ACCOUNTABILITY HERE, and THAT, is EXACTLY why those said individuals stepped down and left.

Can we please cease and desist with the bs?

I am so, so, SO exhausted. I was feeling super unhappy with how my work makes me feel (anxious, miserable) and decided to take another stab at looking for graduate programs to apply to. But, there's a huge hitch that I recently started to really give more consideration. I have serious health concerns which require monthly medication. California has a solid healthcare system which pays for that medication and gets it delivered to me. But how the hell will I manage to get my medication (free of gaps) if I end up wanting to go to college in another State? It's hypothetically possible that I'll be able to somehow make it work, but I don't even know where to begin. Having to add this HUGE extra task onto my search for an educational institution is really FUCKING FRUSTRATING.

So I look for CA universities. There aren't that many that have the degree I want, and most of those require that I take the GRE. Do you have any idea how stupid the GRE is, how mind-numbingly awful it is that such total bullshit is required? Standardized tests are a horrible way to go. It's costly, requires preparation that I don't have the energy to deal with, and is irksome on a moral level.

So, I'm left looking at my options and feeling like total shit. Not rich enough, smart enough, or lucky enough to make everything work. I don't have the energy to deal with all of this stuff but I seriously want to continue my studies. I wa so certain that after I got my Bachelors degree I would be mostly free of stupid, arbitrary hurdles to getting an education. Isn't it fucking bad enough that I'll probably have to take out horrendous loans that I have no likelihood of ever paying back? Why does everything have to be so totally fucked? And it only keeps getting more fucked. Who knows if I'll even have healthcare at all next year, if the GOP get their way.

I really want to study, learn, grow, and do cool things in the world. But I don't know how much more energy I have to struggle.

Wondering if I should feel bad about not feeling bad about anything I do.

Why can't I quit her? 9 months and counting and all I want is to see her smile.

Arisaig wrote: Why can't I quit her? 9 months and counting and all I want is to see her smile.

And I sorta hate how depression makes me post these things when they'll pass 20 mins later.