The Devil is Tempting Me to Become a Preacher

One thing I can say for L. Ron Hubbard is that the dude had energy. I look at how silly he was as a person and the nonsense that he professed in Dianetics and scientology and i think; WOW, it had to have taken an unbelievable amount of work and marketing genius to turn that drivel into an empire, but he did it. Small time compared to modern greats like Rockefeller or Bill Gates but theres probably been kings who had less wealth and social influence than L. R. Hubbard enjoyed.

After a lot of deep soul-searching and a little bit of marijuana i have decided that i am way too lazy to build a completely new cult from scratch. What i COULD maybe do is to become one of those TV preachers that do fundraisers and sell holy water that cures cancer and stuff. Of course I would never say the water cured cancer. Its obviously God who cures the cancer, the water is just a symbol of your faith. These details are not important. The important thing is that i feel like i have many of the qualities necessary to be a successful cult leader. And i also think my cult could do some real good in the world doing something while also helping me get stupid rich and generating a flock of women who will jump at the chance to throw themselves at me. This position of power and privilege would allow me to influence society for the better. I could be sure to have fair representation of disadvantaged groups among my servants and concubines and of course id command them all to vote for progressive candidates. Seems like a win for everybody. What do you think?

It just occurred to me that I cant reall say “cult leader” if i want people to take me seriously. I suppose id better say “preacher” or “pastor”, instead. I think maybe y’all better call me “Brother Ob1” from now on. There so much i still dont know about this. Have any of you ever started a cult before? Got any tips?

Build it and they will come.... if they want something they think you can deliver.

My tip is to forget about that idea , trust me ya don't want to ride that horse it will kick you in the chest or if you think you are riding it nice and safe but in reality the role is playing you and then bam you get bucked off of your high horse . Also if you follow this path please for the people who won't say it here , and by please I mean don't associate yourself with this temple it will give us a bad name and we don't need that . Also what makes you think progressive candidates are the best ??? Personally most progressive candidates have policies or are trying to push policies that would or could possibly destroy our democracy and freedoms . Also I will say what I said to my brother when ever he got high and had stupid ideas , you were high and it was a stupid idea don't do it because you will regret it , eventually he figured out that I was right when I told him this . And yes I use to get high and had stupid ideas but I never went through with them .

Adder wrote: Build it and they will come.... if they want something they think you can deliver.

This is very good advice. I will stand and deliver a whole field of dreams for all those in pursuit of happyness i will lead them into the wild with my beautiful mind, offer them many awakenings and dare them to catch me if they can! Accepting only men of honor, i will teach my acolytes to always pay it forward because its a wonderful life but if you ever need to kill a mockingbird you have to remember the titans. These are FACTS.

Malicious wrote: My tip is to forget about that idea , trust me ya don't want to ride that horse it will kick you in the chest or if you think you are riding it nice and safe but in reality the role is playing you and then bam you get bucked off of your high horse . Also if you follow this path please for the people who won't say it here , and by please I mean don't associate yourself with this temple it will give us a bad name and we don't need that . Also what makes you think progressive candidates are the best ??? Personally most progressive candidates have policies or are trying to push policies that would or could possibly destroy our democracy and freedoms . Also I will say what I said to my brother when ever he got high and had stupid ideas , you were high and it was a stupid idea don't do it because you will regret it , eventually he figured out that I was right when I told him this . And yes I use to get high and had stupid ideas but I never went through with them .

Hey im totally picking up what youre putting down. Dont worry brother, im not role playing with any horses involved, no matter how high i get.

Just remember if you're wanting to create a so called "cult" don't associate it with here totjo ! We don't want that bad energy or backlash . If you want to be called pastor or whatever then go for it but as for here you have to work and train to have that title .

Apparently i lack the most important quality of a cult leader; the ability to troll people without making it obvious or caring that it might hurt their feelings once they figure it out. This is a huge disappointment to me because i was starting to look forward to all those concubines.

Malicious wrote: Just remember if you're wanting to create a so called "cult" don't associate it with here totjo ! We don't want that bad energy or backlash . If you want to be called pastor or whatever then go for it but as for here you have to work and train to have that title .

Ok Ok well look, what if i cut you in on the deal?

You know Mormons have multiple wives , I would look into that and they are very open to open marriages . Also if ya have the confidence then you should have no problem getting multiple lovers . Also ya need a lot of money to have a lot of concubines .

Malicious wrote: You know Mormons have multiple wives , I would look into that and they are very open to open marriages . Also if ya have the confidence then you should have no problem getting multiple lovers . Also ya need a lot of money to have a lot of concubines .

So youre saying cult leader is definitely a good career choice. I knew i liked you for a reason, bro