This Sermon was written by and published for Edan
On the Subject of Doubt and Belief
Since I was a teenager my path has been confused. Even when I thought I knew what I believed, there were seeds of doubt, unsure steps, and thoughts of ‘what if’.
When I believed in the Christian God, certain bible stories made me question God’s intentions. When I left Christianity in search of other things, I found a god in Satan (in the guise of the Egyptian god Sutekh), and I began to wonder if there really were gods. Then, with slight irony, as a Jedi I have begun to wonder if I really left Satan behind.
I do not believe that the path to the Truth, that is, our individual Truth, will ever be a straight or easy one. The way we feel often has as much bearing on our beliefs as our logic and reason, sometimes more, and we cannot always explain how, what, or why we feel as we do.
There are times when my reason tells me something cannot be true, or should not be true, but my feelings lead me back there anyway.
Experience has taught me that there are two ways to deal with this; try to ignore it, or engage with it.
Ignoring it works for a while, but doubt always returns eventually.
If you engage with it and explore it, then it is possible to find understanding. That is how I came to be here.
There is the risk that in engaging in our doubts and wonders we will actually dwell too much on them, that they will become our focus and obscure everything else.
That is why, when I say engage, I mean accept, for a short while, that those beliefs may be true. Forget worry, forget reason, forget other people’s opinion, just feel it.
In that short period you will know whether they are worth pursuing or not.
Although I’ve discussed religious belief above, I am talking about any kind of wonder or questioning in our lives.
Maybe you are in a job but doubt whether it is what you want, and you secretly wonder about another career path. Maybe you are living at home and think perhaps you would rather be half way around the world in another country.
Engage with possibility and find your own truth.