This sermon was written by and published for Robert McKinney - Archon
by Robert McKinney
The last couple weeks have been difficult for me. You see, every year during the month of April I enter a state of angry depression. I have always assumed that it was because of my deployment to Iraq in April of 2004. For years I have fought my way through the depression, oftentimes by staying home from work or isolating myself from everyone. This year, I thought I had worked through the depression. I started to feel that I was making progress, letting go of the anger and depression. It was on the 10th anniversary of landing in Iraq that made it all rush back.
The week before I had ran into a few of the soldiers I deployed with. We talked about the good times we had before leaving for Iraq and the party we had when we made it home. We didn’t, however, speak one word about being in country. It was still a sore spot for all of us. We talked for a couple of hours, oftentimes with long silences accompanied with staring into the past. We don’t get together very often because it dredges up memories of a past we would rather forget.
On the 10th anniversary I realized about halfway through the day that I was intensely angry. My coworkers mentioned that I was not myself, and instead of making matters worse I checked myself out of work and went home. I spent the rest day thinking about why I was so angry.
The answer didn’t come right away. An hour went by with no success. Another hour made the anger worse out of frustration. It was during the third hour that my wife came in, immediately noticing that I was home early and obviously upset. We talked about my anger and frustrations. It was my wife that found the heart of the issue.
I was still guilty about leaving my family behind.
I don’t believe that I would have made the jump on my own. It took my comrades from Iraq to draw the anger to the surface, my coworkers to force me to see it, and my wife to help me see it through. The people around you can help you in your own quest for self-discovery. Oftentimes the people around you are the very guides you need to find the next step. As you journey forward in your own search, look into the reason others are around you, and for the reason you are around them. Self-discovery often has very little to do with self, and oftentimes requires others to discover.