Mental Illness and support

18 May 2017 17:30 - 18 May 2017 17:36 #284517 by OB1Shinobi

Kodaav wrote: Hey, I didn't know where else to go on the forum. If you don't know my background, well I've been diagnosed with PTSD and bipolar disorder. There are more details on my intro on the forum. Well my mind is racing at a million miles per hour, and it is making me letharhic. I can't talk to my wife because she's tired of dealing with it. To be fair to her she is working hard to keep us a float but i always feeling I'm drowning small tasks seem daunting. Part of me feels like putting a bullet in my head. I feel like the connection I had with the force is going to be severed. What do I do? How do I regain my connection and feel that inner peace again.

the diagnosis didnt create the conditions! the conditions have been there for a a while, the diagnosis merely introduced some terms and concepts that you and your health professionals can use to understand and manage the conditions

this is important because what it means is that when you felt connection to the force in the past, you were just as bipolar then as you are now. probably you were just as PTSD before you got the diagnosis as you are now, so you can be confident that its still possible for you to have that same kind of connection, and even to build on it.

the next thing id say is just simply that many people face these same issues; its not easy but it is possible and you can do it.

People are complicated.
Last edit: 18 May 2017 17:36 by OB1Shinobi.
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18 May 2017 17:59 #284521 by Kobos
Replied by Kobos on topic Mental Illness and support
I want to thank everyone in here who has shared. I go into it a little in my journal and I'll summarize it quickly here. I am diagnosed with severe depression with a nice fat side order of anxiety, I do take meds they help but it has it's days. Beyond that I am a recovering alcoholic, these things tend to go hand in hand. Kodavv, your inner peace is still there reach out with your mind and you will find it. A multitude of small tasks will often hinder me and make me feel much the same. To be honest there are days where I just feel unloved. This doesn't make that feeling real, but to my mind it is. One thing I can recommend and your diagnosis is different than mind but this helped and is something the temple stresses a lot. Take one task and only focus on this task as you do it. Really feel what you are doing, even if it is something like vacuuming; focus on the feeling of the handle as it vibrates in your hand, the noise the brushes make as they shift directions on the floor, the force you use to push the vacuum forward ect. This type of focus has helped me much.

Peace to you brother, If you need something there are always people here for you.

What has to come ? Will my heart grow numb ?
How will I save the world ? By using my mind like a gun
Seems a better weapon, 'cause everybody got heat
I know I carry mine, since the last time I got beat
MF DOOM Books of War

Training Masters: Carlos.Martinez3 and JLSpinner
Knight of the Conclave
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18 May 2017 18:14 #284522 by Atticus
Replied by Atticus on topic Mental Illness and support

Kodaav wrote: I feel like the connection I had with the force is going to be severed. What do I do? How do I regain my connection and feel that inner peace again.

I can only tell you what has worked for me.

I don't think "connecting with the Force" is the term I want to use. It implies that the Force is something separate from me, something with which I have to make a conscious connection. I don't see the Force that way. I AM the Force, and so is everything around me, whether I can see and feel it or not.

So for me, it's less about making a connection than it is reminding myself that I am already intrinsically connected, all the time. One of the first ways I learned to do that is something I came across while I was reading Watts. Visualize your own form, and see it surrounded by the the flow of the Force. I often see myself lazily floating on my back in a pool, where the gentle waves are the ripples of the Force holding me up and causing me to rock gently. See the boundary between your form and the Force all around you as a solid line, like an outline in a comic strip. Then erase that line. Just as your body is mostly water, if you could get rid of the outline of your form you would become one with the water in the pool, once you remove the concept of some skinsuit separating you from the flow of the Force in which you float, you see that you are already part of it.

I hope you find this little practice useful. I want you to know that my inbox is always open if I can be of any assistance, or lend a listening ear.

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19 May 2017 21:05 - 19 May 2017 21:05 #284617 by Kodaav
Replied by Kodaav on topic Mental Illness and support
Thank you all for the advice, it really is helpfully. Sorry about the outburst. You have all reinstated some of the reasons as to why I'm here. I feel as I can count on you all since I have no real family in this wild and wacky land down under, except my wife of course. I hope you all know I'm also here for all of you as you all have helped me. May the Force be with you all.
Last edit: 19 May 2017 21:05 by Kodaav.

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