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Bullying Leads To Fustration and Anger |
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Written by Christopher Wray
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Friday, 19 February 2010 |
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As most of you may not know i am 15 years old and still at school Today I experienced yet again another pupil that seemed to not like me at all. He had his companions/friends with him too and as he was threatening me I felt angry and fustrated and even worried as I did not know if he was going to abuse me or not but as I stood there I remembered back to my first lesson about letting your ears hear what they want to hear so his voice became silent and I listened to the sound of the wind and the birds humming away. I then noticed that he too had became silent and i said "what are you doing" and he said "copying you listening to my surroundings" Then I realise that he was mocking me he made me feel realy angry that I wanted to take him down with one strike but then I realised that voilence is not the way forward and had the courage to walk away and tell the adult who soon took care of the boys. I also learned that if you feel angry and want to be violent then you can control that and become calm and that is just what I did. MTFBWY All Wray
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2010-02-1912:18:17 Most if not all bullies have one thing in common - and that is some sort of inferiority complex - the feel 'small' and have a need to inflate themselves (and usually in front of their peers) in order to make themselves feel good about themselves.
Its a form of attention seeking - then there is the cowardice factor - you dont often see/here of a bully who targets someone they think is intellectually or physically 'bigger' or stronger than themselves.
There is an easy way to deal with such people - but it takes a degree of guts of your own to do - simply join in with the mockery of yourself. Sooner or later - the bully gets bored, once the realise (or at least think) your not bothered by them.
Of course - physical assault is another issue and whilst you may feel it will make things worse - reporting physical violence is not a wimps way out. At the end of the day - its against the law - if your school wont take notice - just tell the school your going to the cops.
Fighting back is not the answer - sometimes its necessary at the time to protect yourself - but NEVER be the first to strike.
Your 15 - youll soon be away from this person - the fact is that life is full of bullies, the bullying takes many forms so now is the time to learn to not only deal with it - but how to deal with it.
MTFBWY - A
2010-02-1916:40:02 remember these bullies, then in 10-15 years when you run into them again take notice of their life at that point. you will often find that Karma comes around and gives them what they earned.
when i was in 1-3 grades i had a bully that would beat me up 3 times a day…i saw him 12 years ago…not only am i now twice his size(height and weight) but i'm also not stuck in jail…and i have alot more going for me…incidentally i ran into him in jail (i was in for battery, but it was proven to be self defense since i didn't strike first.) back in 1998 florida laws were slanted against martial artists…as i didn't mention being one prior to being attacked it was viewed as having a "concealed weapon"…they have since changed that law thankfully…it's been my experience that warning potential attackers of martial arts skill only serves to further encourage them to attack…
back on topic, master kana is right if you can laugh at yourself in the presence of bullies it often (though not always) causes them to lose interest in you.
2010-02-2003:51:40 I will also back Master Kana's experience on this. In my own high school experience, I was always the "new kid" because my parents moved around a lot. I had to learn four things to survive this:
1. Don't bring attention to yourself if you can help it. Sitting still when everyone else is moving makes you stick out.
2. If someone else brings attention to you, laugh it off. Seriously, I've almost never felt like laughing, but if I can poke fun at myself and make them go: "Wow, you made us laugh before we did!" then usually they'll either befriend you or leave you alone. Usually.
3. Beating people up makes the problem worse, not better. It creates a polarized "gang" mentality, which is the opposite of what you want a bully doing, because it can actually make the problem serious enough to land someone in the hospital. There just is no "win" for either side. Thus, don't contend against them.
4. Other than that, be yourself. If someone asks a question, give an honest answer. Laugh at it if they think it's weird, because it means they're shocked that there's a new idea. Culture shock accounts for 99% of the "New Kid" factor.
Hope any of that helps.
2010-02-2108:52:10 I see
I must thank you all who has commented on this
I have taken onto account of what you have said
I have never been the one to strike nor to cause harm to anyone else unless I have to(not of my own choice but in self defence) but I can remember that one time three girls one which was in my primary school had came down to cause harm because they saw me as a "weakling" but they were wrong when they started to hit me, push me to the groung and even pick up a weapon(a Metal Pole) but as she went to hit me with it I aslo found a thick branch which was capable of defending me when she went to hit me with it I soon grabbed the weapon out of her hand and flung both mine and hers away. I stood up with an angry look on my face and said
"You think of doing anything to harm me again or right now and I will have no other choice to fight back"
They didnt listen and the three of them stood around me in a circle and they all tried to grab me so I ducked down and sweeped them off their feet and walked away and as i walked away I said
"You come near me to cause me any harm again and I will have no other choice to go further in defending myself"
they never have come near me ever since but I have seen them in shops in town but they never even looked at me or said anything. Guess they now know that I am not a "weakling"
check this video out on cyberbullying
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dubA2vhIlrg
2010-02-2111:55:26 When I was at school - not only was I one of the youngest in my year - I was also the shortest - and thus an instant target - im still only 5'5", 55Kg and look at least 15 years younger than my age now
I actually 'tolerated' the crap for years - when my 'big' brother met me from school one day - his presence in my company put an end to 95% of the hassle I got (which proves the coward point i made in an earlier post) but whilst I dont support violence in any way - it was my retaliation that put an end tot he last 5%
Basically i was getting agro (as it happens it was in my final year) so eventually I lost my cool and in front of the head master - I pushed a guy (who was in my face) away - basically he left the ground and travelled several feet backwards befir3e slamming into the yard fence.
Now this had a desired effect - yet at the time it wasnt planned and was just a reaction. Funnily enough though - mediately after that incident - most of the trouble makers tried to be all chummy with me (again cowardice)
The point here is SOMETIMES there is only one way out of a situation but it always has consequences - some good some bad.
Now when I was at school, it was also common for teachers to do the bullying too - and here again (and i guess the teacher told the tale in the staff room) after this - I was never bothered by a teacher ever again.
This is actually the only real reason I have chosen to NEVER attend school reunions - why do i wish to meet the very people who made my life hell for 5/6 years again? - they say school years are the best of your life - well, if thats the czse. someones life really sucks
I know people change - but I keep in contact with those I was and am friendly with - the rest I dont care about.
Ultimately and this is my point - if you get hassle at school - try to keep in mind that one day youll be in the wider world and away from the fools. Also - the old saying 'what goes around, comes around' - you never know, some of them may later in life have deep regrets about the way they treated you and others, ive seen this a few times from 'bullies' from my school.
Im not excusing their behaviour but here is another cautionary tale - like other forms of abuse (eg child abuse) - bullying is actually infectious - not only do those bullied often seek their own target to vent frustration, but witnesses can and do tend to think its acceptable behaviour.
DONT follow suit and dont repeat the behaviour - bullies often are infact 'victims' in some way themselves - and the cycle has to end somewhere.
Anyone can fight - but only the strongest CHOOSE not too.
MTFBWY - A
2010-02-2116:13:44 It is hard to be young. Don't let the anger control you Wray. It sounds like you are already headed down the right path. A quick version of my long story, which repeated a few times. I laughed, ignored, tried to be invisible, and when I was out of peaceful alternatives, went with the physical. But as was stated in an earlier post, I had to accept the consequences. I used pysical confrontation, after I had exausted all the other avenues. Violence is always the last option and a sign of poor verbal and comprehension skills. Unfourtunatly, the poor skills might be on the attacker, in which case, being physical is the only choice left.
But you also have to remember, you could lose the altercation. Being right doesn't mean winning the battle.
2010-02-2314:22:13 I must thank you all for giving me your support
I have taken the information in and will use that knowledge in the future.
(most of the times I will walk away from these people and ignore them but I always remember that if you are being bullied then there is always more than one way out)
MTFBWY All