All so funny, but here's a few for the list.


Those who live glass houses should probably consider putting the Bathrooms in the _base_ment.

I used to think people who state the obvious often need to keep thier mouths moving to avoid having thier brain freeze up. I then decided that if they stop moving thier mouths thier brain starts working.

man who drinks too much kool aid end up with punch in nose.

Why do they call it TV set if it's just the one?

Time flies! Especially if you throw your alarm clock across the room.

Don't spit in the wind

Any fortune from a fortune cookie is funny if you add "in bed" to the end.

The only time "That's what she said" is ever funny is when it comes out of Michael Scott's (The Office) mouth.

politically correct is usually never politically correct.

Don't pee uphill or on an electric fence

Never touch a mans french fries.